yeee-ouch!

this afternoon i had a little appointment with the dentist. This amounted to $315 dollars and three white fillings, and, dare i say, a slightly profound realization? I am a rather squirmy patient. When he injects the anathesia (you know what i mean) with that long needle and i feel and visualize that the needle is in so far it is going to poke my eyeball, i tend to bang my sharply contracted ankles rhythmically on the foot rest. when a sharp poker suddenly slides off my tooth and lodges into my gum line, my entire back politely rears up in sympathy. i'll tell you who else gets my sympathy: the woman who polished my teeth. she wears some nifty protective shades, but i think her entire forehead and hairline was sprinkled with my saliva, and who knows who elses. what a job. I think i'd wear a welding mask. the doc sure shot me up good with that anasthesia though. my eye and nose went numb along with my upper lip, not top mention feeling no pain when he drilled away like a third of my tooth. i never got that much before. that indian didn't mess around. so, the profoundness: when i was squirming and continually tensed up for the next pain, i observed my mind being totally absorbed in my body's tension and anticipation of pain. Then I decided, why don't i try to be a little more effective and use my mind to help calm my body? Don't let the pain invade my mind and terrify my thoughts, but instead try to funnel my thoughts toward identifying and relaxing the tension my muscles, slowing the breath; not get my mind wound up with fearing pain, don't let my mind drift away. oh, wise zen master amy has delivered another obvious and sappy sermon from the mount, you say. listen here you little "old soul" you, we don't want your yoga hocus-pocusy hype, you say. que profundis, welcome to how everyone operates all the time, you say, you have cracked your tooth on the hard shell of "duh." idiot. profound as an empty peanut shell. again. Oh. other monkey-mind dentally-inspired thoughts: when i saw him test the syringe by pushing a perfect silvery drop of anathesia out through that long skinny needle, i immediately thought about a fat epideral needle, and all the pain associated with giving birth to a child, and how this comparatively teeny pinching is so negligable considering the pain of pregnancy and delivery. part of me wants to think it is a beautiful woman experience, and if i'm calm and breath and prepare mentally i won't be overwhelmed by it. but part of me fears it very deeply, knowing i do not handle pain or drugs well, or thoughts of what could go wrong (episiotomy.). better continue guarding the eggs from sperm for the time being. absolutely no admitance to the ovaries for carriers of highly suspicious "just visiting" passes. good plan.