the little momma

I just want to take a moment to honor the intense love that I feel for the kids in my primary group at school. Sure, Jason is biting out of anger, Rachel only says "no" these days, and Serina general disposition is that of a premenstral teenager, but oh, oh, oh do I love those little ones.

Jason and I have so many little secretive smile moments. Like when I sit down on the little childsize couch and we smile at each other and he runs to the books shelf, knowing we are going to sit together and read our favorites (he is two! love of literacy!). or when he tries to swing his foot into the sink when I am washing his hands. or when I repeat his "no monkey" gibberish that he says every time he gets a new diaper (?), or when his mom picks him up and he runs back and forth between us giving us hugs, or when he comes and finds me and hugs my legs and looks up at me signaling he wants me to hold him, or when he says "tinese" because he wants to hear the Chinese version of a song. And that's just Jason.

Serina is a beautiful, round little girl with big brown eyes, full cheeks and a doll-like little mouth. Oh, and the smiles she gives, and the hugs. Rachel has huge blue eyes, and squeezes her shoulders up to her ears shyly when she smiles. I'm not going to give the girls as many words but I love them just as much. Most of the time. Me and J have really run the laps. One thing I know, I would have no trouble bonding with a child of another ethnicity (my group is a mix of asian, hispanic and russian/jewish), or with an adopted child. Oh but I would want to be pregnant at some point in time. The idea of carrying a child of me and someone I love - wow. Wow. And honestly, even if I were raped, I would still not give up that child. I don't think I could bear the idea of a child of mine growing up separate from me. Tapering out on a serious note! Hasta.