New Years 2007

Here are some things I've been thinking on, supplied to me from a variety of wise people, that I would like to move from theory to practice:

1) I really wish that I would stop desiring an easy life. God is not trying to secure a perfect earthy existence for us, so we should not be trying to do this for ourselves. His desire is for us to grow more in the image of Christ, and that does not happen when things run smoothly. I want to learn to cling more tightly to Jesus and to spiritual things - like faith, hope, love and peace - and not to be so dependent on my earthly environment.

2) Trials and suffering purify the heart, and they are just as much a part of God's goodness and love as his pain-free blessings. We are called to consider trials a deeply joyful experience, even though we are in pain. There's a bit of duality, but it's not contradictory, in theory. Yeah, I know. I'll keep you posted. There's a disconnect there for me.

3) Faith is perservering bravery that refuses to despair. I need to stop fearing extreme situations... like being in relationships with men. Look at Jaguar Paw in Apocalypto. Our finest moments are when we meet challenges with fearlessness - think about how he jumped over the waterfall. Exhilarating! Imagine how much greater our trust in the Lord would be if we were out on the limb a bit more often.

4) The Lord has also really been showing me how much I am letting fear rule certain areas of my life instead of him. And it is a deep seeded trait, lodged within my physical body. I feel like I've suddenly been made aware of a Lord of the Rings type fortress that exists within me. Corny comparison, I know, but this fear runs deep and is old, old, old.

So these are some themes that I keep coming back to in a theoretical kind of way, and I'm really hoping that they make it into a cellular kind of faith - deep in my bones.

My New Years resulutions are so spend more time in focused prayer and scripture reading. I'm praying that the Lord will increase my desire to do these disciplines, and I am praying that he will change my heart as I spend more time dwelling in his truth. I'm really hoping that this type of daily maitenance will keep me from the minor bouts of depression I usually go through. I'm also hoping the Lord will give me greater self awareness and understanding this year. I'm also hoping to plan a cool vacation, look into some mission trips abroad, spend more time writing, and for the Lord to put serving others on my heart more often, spend less money on fluff, be more consistent with tithing and actively seeking out the lost. and to attack the big course load I've signed up for in Spring, and to push for doing my personal best. and I'm hoping that I will absorb the yoga training well and be able to turn it into another avenue that I can use to help others and glorify the Lord. and I'm hoping that the Lord will be priming me to thoroughly enjoy being in a future relationship with a good, godly man. and to get into the best shape of my life, eat healthy, and learn to cook more meals.