unexpected events

I casually invited a friend to my Yosemite trip after telling him about my summer vacations, and he accepted almost immediately, even though it is only two days away. He'll be meeting us up there, so it won't be for the whole time, but most of it. We've hung out in the same big group for years now, but we don't exactly 'click' and our conversation is awkward. The good news is he could probably pack weight like a mule so my backpack is hopefully going to be a lot lighter. The bad news is I was really looking forward to backpacking by myself for a few days for restorative reasons. I was hoping to find a nice group to hang out with for the scary night time when the bears patrol the little campround in the high country. Ideally this group would not talk about the same things that my friends and I always talk about, and I would not talk about the same things I always talk about. Hoping to find people who completely don't know me. At the same time, now I wish more people I know were going. Maybe I'll send him off fishing one of the days and I'll go do my own thing.

Sometimes I get so sick of always waking up in the same body and in the same room, and always thinking the same thoughts and having the same fears. Sometimes the endless repetition makes me feel so deeply trapped, and like there is no escape, and no real freedom. I'm always surprised when these feeling surface so strongly, because most of the time I really like my life and feel like I have it pretty easy in comparison with the rest of the world.